Tuesday, May 25, 2004

In the world of sex...

It's been a busy day...

Woman gives birth using 21-year-old sperm

Ark. couple has 15th child, may have more

Washington university cancels annual Pornfest

Sex blogger: I played safe

No longer sweatin'

In all fairness, I ought to update the Richard Simmons uber-scandal.
Arrested at Phoenix's Sky Harbor Airport in March, the exercise guru (well, not really, but who's splittin' hairs?) is now free and clear.
PHOENIX - A Phoenix city court judge has dismissed an assault charge against exercise guru Richard Simmons stemming from a March incident at Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport in which he allegedly slapped an ultimate cage fighter across the face.
The cage wrestler, identified as Christopher Farney, agreed to drop the misdemeanor charge against Simmons, according to court documents filed May 19. The court records did not indicate why Farney agreed to the dismissal. Simmons, the outlandish 55-year-old known for his nationally distributed exercise videos, was accused of slapping the 6-foot-2, 250-pound athlete after the man reportedly made a derogatory remark about Simmons as they waited to board a flight on March 24.

I wish the cage fighter would have hit back. It would have been such a better story:
Excercise super-guru Richard Simmons was seriously injured at Sky Harbor Airport after starting a fight with an ultimate cage fighter...
I never did hear if David Letterman picked up on the story...

Fun with music

Here’s a tracklist for the new biannual mix, entitled “Momentary Fires,” which follows “Drunken Saints” and “The Time & Space Lounge”

Wilco - At Least That's What You Said
David Cross interlude “Answer Your Telephone”
Steely Dan - Godwhacker
Shins - Kissing the Lipless
Modest Mouse - Float On
Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers - Americano!
Chango Malo - F*ing Wheathins
Ryan Adams - Burning Photographs
Badly Drawn Boy - You Were Right
Decemberists - Billy Liar
Okkervil River - Blanket and Crib
Bonnie “Prince” Billy - I See a Darkness
Dan Bern - New American Language
Mike Doughty - Looks
Bob Dylan - To Ramona
Lyle Lovett - If I Had a Boat
Flatlanders - Goin' Away
John Prine - Your Flag Decals Won’t Get You Into Heaven Anymore
Al Perry - Dreaming
Sammy Kershaw - Honky Tonk America

“Momentary Fires” follows “Drunken Saints” and “The Time & Space Lounge,” if anyone cares.

Saturday, May 22, 2004

Just a couple song quotes runnin' 'round my head...

"I would never be so dumb to say they stole an election. They bought the damn thing fair and square" -- Dan Bern

"But your flag decal won't get you
Into Heaven any more.
They're already overcrowded
From your dirty little wars.
Now Jesus he don't like killin'
No matter what the reason is for,
And your flag decal won't get you
Into Heaven any more" -- John Prine

Tuesday, May 18, 2004


The staff here at Catfish Vegas presents... would like to warmly congratulate Randy Johnson on tossing a perfect game.
I got to watch the last two innings and it was amazing. Rarely does a baseball crowd give the opponent an extended standing ovation, but anyone who has a pure love of baseball in his or her heart had to feel great watching.
Incredible. The rarest of feats in sports. And outside Harvey Haddix's 12 perfect innings, Johnson may have pitched the single most dominant game in Major League history.
Roger Clemens has had a great year, but with one magic night, Randy re-asserted himself as the single best pitcher in the game today.
As a side note, I made my second trip to Bank One Ballpark on Sunday. The game itself was pathetic, culminating in the sixth when the D'Backs loaded the bases with no outs and couldn't push a run across.
But I did stop to pay homage to the World Series trophy on the way in. I took off my cap, placed it over my heart and just stared at Randy Johnson's game seven jersey, the lineup card and as I crouched to stare at Gonzo's bat and the game-winning ball, I started tearing up. From there to that magic first glimpse of the field... To Randy's perfect game tonight. Now that's baseball.

Saturday, May 15, 2004

Wildly improved

Welcome to the second generation of Catfish Vegas presents...
Blogger has improved its services quite a bit of late and I decided to follow suit. Primarily this looks better, but my favorite improvement is the ease of navigation. Entries can be viewed separately and recent posts are listed individually.
Keep reading...

Yet another reason to distrust the record industry

All their complaining about how music pirating is driving down business turns out to be a bunch of hooey.
It turns out the RIAA decided to switch the way it counts everything.
Instead of looking at sales when they say sales are going down, they look at units shipped.
Turns out sales are actually on the rise, while less units are being shipped.
Never believe another thing the RIAA says. They've been trying their damndest to turn music into a profit machine, only to get rebuffed at every turn by musicians and music lovers. I say listen away, but to music, not the industry windbags.

The Onion's take on blogging

I've searched for this for quite some time. Since it isn't archived on The Onion's Web site, I had to keep searching until I found some other kind soul who lifted the whole thing. Dedicated to my brother... thankfully I keep this site impersonal.

Mom finds out about blog

MINNEAPOLIS, MN—In a turn of events the 30-year-old characterized as "horrifying," Kevin Widmar announced Tuesday that his mother Lillian has discovered his weblog.
"Apparently, Mom typed [Widmar's employer] Dean Healthcare into Google along with my name and, lo and behold, PlanetKevin popped up," Widmar said. "I'm so fucked."
In an e-mail sent to Widmar Monday, Lillian reported in large purple letters that she was "VERY EXCITED :)!!!" to find his "computer diary," but was perplexed that he hadn't mentioned it to her.
Upon receipt of the e-mail, Widmar mentally raced through the contents of his blog. He immediately thought of several dozen posts in which he mentioned drinking, drug use, casual sex, and other behavior likely to alarm his mother.
"I don't have one of those sites that's a big tell-all about one-night stands and wild parties," Widmar said. "I mostly write about the animation I like or little things that happen to me and my friends. But there are definitely things in there that I wouldn't, well, write home to Mom about."
Fortunately for Widmar, Lillian's comments about the site indicate that she has not delved deeply into its contents.
"Mom's main comment was that I look tired in the photos from my birthday party, so I'm guessing that she didn't get past the first page yet," Widmar said. "She will, though. She will."
Widmar said he expects his site to provide Lillian with ample cause for worry.
"Even on that benign front page, she found something to freak out about," Widmar said. "She read the entry for Monday, where I mentioned how much I hate my job, and e-mailed to say that she hoped I wasn't thinking of quitting in this economy."
"Mom had a fit when she found out that I put my television on my credit card," Widmar added. "If she reads about how I was with my friend Jayson when he got pulled over for drunk driving, I'll never hear the end of it."
"Oh God," Widmar said with a gasp. "Three days ago, I wrote something about buying pot!"
Widmar said that the idea of his mother immersing herself in the boring details of his life is just as frightening as the idea of her discovering his misconduct.
"Really, the blog is just a record of what I think about the world and how I spend my free time," Widmar said. "In other words, exactly the sort of information that no 30-year-old wants his mom to have access to."
"I know enough not to tell Mom that I'm seeing a girl until it's serious," Widmar said. "Now, she's going to know exactly who I hang out with, where I go, and what I spend my time doing on a daily basis. I am so in hell right now."
"God, my links alone contain unlimited fodder for Mom's neuroses," Widmar said. "She'll have access to not only my life, but the lives of all my friends who have web sites. She'll have the names of all the places in Minneapolis where we hang out, which she can—and will—look up. With the raw materials in my blog, she could actually construct an accurate picture of who I am. This is fucking serious."
"To think that I was happy that Mom was e-mailing instead of calling ever since [Widmar's sister] Karen got her online last year," he added. "I didn't see the danger."
According to Widmar, there's "no fucking chance" that Lillian will simply give the site a cursory look and never return.
"Mom loves hearing every boring detail of her kids' lives," he said. "She'd want to know what I'm eating for dinner every night, if she could. This blog is like porn for her."
"Come to think of it, why do I sometimes write about what I ate for dinner?" Widmar asked.
Seeing his blog through his mother's eyes, Widmar said he knows there's no way the site can remain unchanged.
"I know Mom will instantly become the site's most avid reader and most vocal fan," Widmar said. "As I write it, I'll think, "How would Mom feel about this?" Even worse, I'm sure she'll give the address to all our relatives."
All of the tactics Widmar has considered to divert his mother seem unworkable.
"I could take it down for a few weeks, but I know she wouldn't just forget about it," Widmar said. "I could edit the site and send my other readers through a back door, to another blog just for them. But, I mean, that's just ridiculous."
If Widmar starts a blog at a new address, without his full name this time, he said he risks losing "close to 100" regular readers.
As of press time, Widmar had not decided whether to shut PlanetKevin down.
"The clock is ticking," Widmar said. "I've gotta act fast. At this very minute, she might be reading about the time I did Ecstasy last summer. If Mom finds that entry, I can pretty much count on our conversations for the next year being centered on the dangers of drug use."

Absolutely hilarious.

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

‘Inevitable but sad’

“We need to reach out to a younger demographic to bring them to the ballpark.”
That may be true, but how the hell to you get from there to putting Spider-man 2 advertisements on bases at Major League stadiums for a weekend?
Is it too much to ask to keep advertisements out of the field of play? And does Spider-man 2, the sequal of a record-setting box office smash, really need more advertising? And is linking baseball with a genetically modified superhero really a good idea?
Former Commissioner Fay Vincent calls it “Inevitable but sad.”
I have no major problem with corporate-named stadiums - that trend is as old as Wrigley. It was funny when Houston has to rename its Enron Park. Sure, “Dodger Stadium” has a nicer ring that “PetCo Park,” but baseball and advertising have gone hand-in-hand for years. The first baseball cards came with tobacco and Joe Dimaggio and Ted Williams hawked cigarettes.
I can’t wait for the inevitable (but sad) Jay Leno joke:
“The investigation into steroid use in Major League Baseball has found that Barry Bonds did nothing illegal. He was just bitten by a genetically-altered spider. Yeah.”

Disney Blocks Film Critical of Bush or Why Big Media Sucks, Reason # 3,001

Yes Michael Moore is a great filmmaker. Yes Michael Moore has some serious beef with GWB. Yes Michael Moore has been known to play a little fast with the facts.
He’s not owed anything, but it seems damn fishy that Disney is blocking its subsidiary Miramax from releasing "Fahrenheit 9/11"
Michael Moore is absolutely a windbag, but he’s growing more effective all the time. His “deserter” charge snowballed into weeks of scrutiny into Bush’s national guard file. And while the press corps never really dug below the surface and the matter will likely never be resolved, the Campaigner in Chief’s service was actually questioned for a moment.

The most interesting part of this is that it might actually wake Congress up to the real world. Burried in the article is a reference to potential congressional action against big media censorship.
“In addition, Sen. Frank R. Lautenberg, Democrat of New Jersey, called for hearings of the Senate Commerce Committee to look into the pattern of politically based corporate censorship of the news media and the entertainment industry, the senator's office said.
"While corporate leaders rarely exercise discretion over gross indecency or violence, we have seen a number of corporate conglomerates censor material recently based on political content," Lautenberg sad in a letter to Commerce Committee Chairman Sen. John McCain, Republican of Arizona.”
Let’s hope that with this ball in the Straight Talk court, something might actually get done.